Broadjam Artist: Bill DakeSong: Carolina MoonReviewer: Peter BoyntonPositive Comments: -really nice lead vocal and harmonies-great organic instrumentation-love the groove and vibe-love the hook. its more of a ‘refrain’ song than a chorus song, which is…
![Bill Dake Bill Dake](https://d3ck8ztij7t71z.cloudfront.net/126/126057/tmb_150x150_126057_235583.jpg)
Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Carolina Moon
Reviewer: Peter Boynton
Positive Comments: -really nice lead vocal and harmonies-great organic instrumentation-love the groove and vibe-love the hook. its more of a ‘refrain’ song than a chorus song, which is cool. I’d want that cool refrain starting and/or ending every section of your song structure.
Constructive Comments: -vs1 and vs2 are the ‘travel’ part of your story – seems like the middle, not the start?-vs3, the heart of what you’re about to do, leaves out the Carolina Moon’s part in it, and is maybe really your better vs1? Seems like you start with this verse, get ‘Carolina Moon’ into it and then get to your ‘travel’ sections.-vs4 jumps tense and time and takes me out of the story. Maybe it’s the end of the ‘travel’ section, and she’s there waiting for you on the porch. Did the ‘Carolina Moon’ tell her? Proposal hasn’t happened yet. Leave the story open-ended with the ‘Carolina Moon’ watching over the two of you? – riffing here….This is my 1st BroadJam review! In case they’re anonymous, I’m happy to put my name to these thoughts on what I think is a really good song! Best of luck with it. I hope I figure out who you are and can listen to more of your work. -Peter Boynton