Month: June 2018

Broadjam Artist: Steve Dafoe – Songwriter
Song: Darling, Have I Not Done This Well? (Country- Classic)

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: This guy’s got a great country voice, crystal clear with that country-honesty you want to hear in a singer in this genre. This sounds like a basic guitar/voice demo, but it does the job of getting the melody and lyric across…a good start. There are some good word pictures here. The suitcase, the beans and rice.

Constructive Comments: I think this song needs work. The verses are not tightly constructed and it was hard to make out the structure as I was listening. Work on “word economy”. It seems like the verses had too many lines and the rhyming structure wasn’t consistent. I’d have to re-examine the lyrics online to see if what I am saying holds water. The first 2 lines of the chorus are original and effective, but you lost me on got/lot. “I love you a lot” just kind of falls flat in the song (not your voice, the phrase). The love gone wrong theme places all the blame on the guy. Keep on writing and singing! You have talent!

Broadjam Artist: Steve Dafoe – Songwriter
Song: Darling, Have I Not Done This Well? (Country- Classic)

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: This guy’s got a great country voice, crystal clear with that country-honesty you want to hear in a singer in this genre. This sounds like a basic guitar/voice demo, but it does the job of getting the melody and lyric across…a good start. There are some good word pictures here. The suitcase, the beans and rice.

Constructive Comments: I think this song needs work. The verses are not tightly constructed and it was hard to make out the structure as I was listening. Work on “word economy”. It seems like the verses had too many lines and the rhyming structure wasn’t consistent. I’d have to re-examine the lyrics online to see if what I am saying holds water. The first 2 lines of the chorus are original and effective, but you lost me on got/lot. “I love you a lot” just kind of falls flat in the song (not your voice, the phrase). The love gone wrong theme places all the blame on the guy. Keep on writing and singing! You have talent!

Broadjam Artist: Randal Dunkle
Song: What Must I Do

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Here’s a song that asks a biblical and pertinent question: What must I do to be saved? It alludes to 2 bible stories: The Philippian jailer and the Ethiopian Eunuch clever pairing of stories in one song. It also brings in a modern day cross wearer and questions the reality of their faith. Good instrumentation.

Constructive Comments: Vocal coaching needed. Verse 2 might be better switched with verse 3. I hope that this song makes people think about their salvation. I am guessing this is Randal Dunkel, but recently I guessed that and was wrong. Mrs. Kate

Broadjam Artist: Randal Dunkle
Song: What Must I Do

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Here’s a song that asks a biblical and pertinent question: What must I do to be saved? It alludes to 2 bible stories: The Philippian jailer and the Ethiopian Eunuch clever pairing of stories in one song. It also brings in a modern day cross wearer and questions the reality of their faith. Good instrumentation.

Constructive Comments: Vocal coaching needed. Verse 2 might be better switched with verse 3. I hope that this song makes people think about their salvation. I am guessing this is Randal Dunkel, but recently I guessed that and was wrong. Mrs. Kate

Broadjam Artist: Paul Krans
Song: Crazy

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Wow! This is one of the catchiest hooks I’ve heard in a long time on Broadjam. This gal’s got a voice…even when she’s repetitive, you can’t get enough of her vocals! Crystal clear, with a brilliance that shines. This song reminds me of a “sung rap” in many ways. However, it’s not so fast that you can’t make out the lyrics, which are simply written, but effective. Favorite lyric: one and one is two, but I don’t think it’s me and you. Simple, but incredibly effective. The rhymes are fresh and original. Great production, not overdone at all. Excellent job. This is an extremely talented artist!

Constructive Comments: When you start out with the word Crazy, it sounds more like craze-ah. I wasn’t sure what you were singing till I heard more of the song. You sing a real crazy most of the time. I definitely want to hear more of your songs.

Broadjam Artist: Paul Krans
Song: Crazy

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Wow! This is one of the catchiest hooks I’ve heard in a long time on Broadjam. This gal’s got a voice…even when she’s repetitive, you can’t get enough of her vocals! Crystal clear, with a brilliance that shines. This song reminds me of a “sung rap” in many ways. However, it’s not so fast that you can’t make out the lyrics, which are simply written, but effective. Favorite lyric: one and one is two, but I don’t think it’s me and you. Simple, but incredibly effective. The rhymes are fresh and original. Great production, not overdone at all. Excellent job. This is an extremely talented artist!

Constructive Comments: When you start out with the word Crazy, it sounds more like craze-ah. I wasn’t sure what you were singing till I heard more of the song. You sing a real crazy most of the time. I definitely want to hear more of your songs.

Broadjam Artist: Jeff Roberts
Song: It’s Too Late to Write (a Song About Love)

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Here’s a creative twist on a break-up/love gone wrong song. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the relationship gone stale/sour. There’s even an element of humor: “The dog is mine.” Pleasant arrangement and instrumentation. The chorus is catchy and original. Love the harmonies. Nice job!

Constructive Comments: I think the introduction is too short and needs a little work giving the listener a few more seconds to get ready for the song. The first verse seems to hold out hope and the following verses throw in the towel. Not sure why the towel isn’t thrown in from square one, but that’s your choice.

Broadjam Artist: Jeff Roberts
Song: It’s Too Late to Write (a Song About Love)

Reviewer: Kate Carpenter

Positive Comments: Here’s a creative twist on a break-up/love gone wrong song. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the relationship gone stale/sour. There’s even an element of humor: “The dog is mine.” Pleasant arrangement and instrumentation. The chorus is catchy and original. Love the harmonies. Nice job!

Constructive Comments: I think the introduction is too short and needs a little work giving the listener a few more seconds to get ready for the song. The first verse seems to hold out hope and the following verses throw in the towel. Not sure why the towel isn’t thrown in from square one, but that’s your choice.

Broadjam Artist: Jeff Ashbaker
Song: Put Your Heart Back In The Freezer

Reviewer: Marilyn Hall

Positive Comments: Original lyric idea. I like the chorus. The banjo, cowbell, and other instruments support the lyric well.

Constructive Comments: Short and to the point. Better as a live entertainment song than radio ready.

Broadjam Artist: Jeff Ashbaker
Song: Put Your Heart Back In The Freezer

Reviewer: Marilyn Hall

Positive Comments: Original lyric idea. I like the chorus. The banjo, cowbell, and other instruments support the lyric well.

Constructive Comments: Short and to the point. Better as a live entertainment song than radio ready.