Broadjam Artist: Kate Carpenter
Song: Look at all the Family
Reviewer: Drew Hale
Positive Comments: Happy, bouncy piece. It’s obvious to the listener that you’re passionate about what you’re singing.
Constructive Comments: I’m not exactly sure where to start here. Your obvious passion and zeal for the content is where the positive notes end for me, personally. While I can appreciate what you’re trying to convey in this song, the arrangement, the playing, the vocal, and the lyrics just feel incredibly trite and dated. This feels like a song I might have heard in Sunday School in the 80’s, which isn’t altogether a bad thing. But when it comes to marketability in 2017, I just don’t know where this would fit. I can’t imagine this has much of a place in modern markets outside of maybe a Christian/Inspirational children’s album, which may be the idea. And if so, thats great. It would work well there. The lyric rhyme scheme is predictable and a bit trite, but would again lend itself well to childrens music. Overall, I really appreciate the heart behind this piece. I just don’t know how to help you make it better, other than to encourage you to do some critical listening to more modern artists in the style you want to write, and learn from them. Study their writing methods, and their lyrics. And I would highly recommend purchasing a rhyme dictionary, and using it as a helpful writing tool. I think you have potential to write, but maybe need just a bit more direction.